THOAD is ecstatic about the announcement of a new informative feature called “Ask Dr. Rosenpenis.” Rosenpenis, Board Certified in just about everything including Laser Beaver Removal (LBR), has recently published the following pieces to critical acclaim: “Foooog!, One Man’s Struggle Against the Smell of Fried Onions”, “You Diiiid?, Comebacks That are Sure to Annoy the Shit Out of Anyone”, and “Yinz Gaooin Daaan Er’?, Decoding Pittsburghese.” Loyal THOAD readers, this is your chance to pick the mind of one of our generations foremost authorities on any of it, all of it. Today’s question comes from new THOAD reader Bill Avoider, a 23 year old black man from Baltimore, Maryland who writes: “Sup Doc, yo dawg, my shorty out cause I be havin no ice and my ride got no spinners – what the fugg yo?”
Mr. Avoider,
I feel your pain sir. I too have been in the position where my shorty has been displeased with my lack of over the top, pointless material possessions. It just so happens I have the perfect solution that will solve both your lack of “ice” as well as your non-spinning “dubz.” Please accept this gift on behalf of THOAD management, we are certain your shorty will come crawling back with apologetic tears when she sees you with your new Spinner Bling-Bling Watch, a marvel in timepiece design incorporating a dazzling amount of Ice with the spinner technology you and your shorty deserve. Thank you for your letter and “you go dawg!”
I feel your pain sir. I too have been in the position where my shorty has been displeased with my lack of over the top, pointless material possessions. It just so happens I have the perfect solution that will solve both your lack of “ice” as well as your non-spinning “dubz.” Please accept this gift on behalf of THOAD management, we are certain your shorty will come crawling back with apologetic tears when she sees you with your new Spinner Bling-Bling Watch, a marvel in timepiece design incorporating a dazzling amount of Ice with the spinner technology you and your shorty deserve. Thank you for your letter and “you go dawg!”
Sincerely,
Dr. Rosenpenis
Dr. Rosenpenis
Please forward all inquiries for Dr. Rosenpenis to THOAD@LMBs.org
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment